Mindset: Mo Money, Mo Problems – The Dark Side of Success
I never understood what Biggie meant when he rapped about mo money, mo problems. When you’re rich all your problems go away, right? Why would I have more problems?
Oh boy was I naive. When you’re make money and it is known, there will be people out there looking to sabotage what you’ve built or try to take advantage of you. The economy’s rough and people are money hungry out there.
I wanted to write about this topic because it affects everyone, and no one really talks about it.
I’m sure some people from my life will get offended, but whatever happened in the past is in the past and I really don’t care. This post is about educating my readers and protecting them.
Crabs in a Bucket
The story goes that if you put a single crab in a bucket then he can easily climb over it. If you put multiple crabs in a bucket, then none of them will escape. As soon as one tries to climb over, the rest will pull it back down.
The mentality is, “If I can’t have it, then neither can you.”
You’ll find that even attempting to improve your life can bring the crabs out
- “You’ll never make it work”
- “Why don’t you be more realistic”
- “You are wasting your time”
Listen crabs, just because you gave up on your dreams doesn’t mean you should hold everyone else back.
My female friend and her friends were all overweight. My friend decided to go on a diet and regularly hit the gym. After a year she lost a ton of weight and became more physically attractive.
You would think her friends would be happy for her and be inspired right? Nooooooooooooooo. They outcasted her from the group and spread rumors that she was bulimic. Her transformation was a constant reminder to them that their excuses were bullshit.
When I started making money a few years ago I had tons of crabs that were trying to downplay my success.
- “Oh I heard he makes money through credit card fraud”
- “I heard his AMEX Black card isn’t even real”
- “He doesn’t really know anything, he just got lucky with that affiliate marketing stuff”
Don’t let these peasants get to you. Notice how “haters” are always broke and don’t have anything going on in their lives.
They are bitter and angry at their lack of success in life. They would prefer everyone else to be mediocre so that they won’t have to step their own lives up.
Distance yourself from these people and make friends with those who have a stronger mentality.
Never let someone borrow money because there is a 99.99% chance you’re not going to see that money back.
When people start seeing that you’re making money then it’s going to attract people who want to borrow money.
If someone owes you money then they’re probably never going to bring it up. Not only that but it becomes a weird situation where they will flip it around so you’re the bad guy for even bringing it up.
Even worse is when you’re on Facebook a few months later…”The fucker owes me money and he’s on vacation?” You have enough stress going on with your life to deal with this.
Occasionally someone you care about will need help, and you can’t ignore it. If that’s the case then just give them some money and don’t expect it back.
Some of us have this superman complex where we want to help people. What I’ve realized is you have to let people fail sometimes in order for them to grow and learn.
The term is thrown around too loosely – just because a woman is more attracted to men with ambitions doesn’t make her a gold digger. Let keep it real, if I were a woman I wouldn’t want the father of my kids to be a bum that sits around and plays Xbox all day.
A gold digger is when women only date you for your money and what you can buy for her. Fortunately, I’ve never had an issue with these women to be honest.
Don’t try to attract women using your wealth. Trust me it’s 10x more powerful when you don’t talk about it. Let me give you some examples:
- My friend graduated from Harvard. It’s not on his Facebook and he never talks about it. But when I visited his office and saw the diploma on his wall, I was blown away at how humble he was.
- Is your first date a $200 dinner? Come on man, don’t be so try hard.
- lets say we’re in the club. Don’t approach women and say, “hey I got a table.” Instead talk to her like normal, and see if she wants to get get a drink. THEN bring her to the table. See the difference? One is tryhard and the other is natural.
You want to be dating someone that’s ride or die, someone that loves you for who you are, not what you have.
Important: When I talk about women, I am not referring to gender but rather “your significant other.’ There are male golddiggers as well – shoutout to all the ladies and gays reading my blog!
Time vampires are the people in your life who just suck the time and energy out of you. (Note: kids don’t count lol)
I can’t date a girl that wants to see me all the time because I have a business to run. I don’t know why they can expect to see someone all the time and expect them to maintain the same level of success.
If I’m entering a relationship with someone they have to understand that work’s a priority for me. I’m going to travel a lot, and sometimes I go into these periods of intense, intense work. That’s why it’s important to date people that have their own passions going on with their lives and are busy as well.
The same thing applies to friends. If I can’t go out clubbing or dinner, it’s not because there’s no love. Sometimes I’m just busy and have to focus on work.
Anyways don’t go overboard with the work – when you say no too many times, that’s how relationships and friendships die.
Leeches are the people who want to be your friend just to extract all value from you. This can come in many forms
- Guys who just want to be your friend to learn your secrets. It’s like winning the lottery and everyone wants to be your best friend all of a sudden!
- People who straight up try to scam you. It could be trying to get you to invest in “sure things”
- This applies to online relationships as well. People who are always leeching value and never giving any in return.
You know what’s funny? I love mentoring and teaching people – I wouldn’t have a blog if I didn’t.
What I don’t like is when people try to be sneaky about it. If you wanna learn from me then just be straight about it. I don’t have time for fake friends.
*Spoilers, but shame on you if you haven’t watched The Godfather 1 & 2*
Michael is now the Don of New York and his enemies can’t get to him. Instead they go after his brother Fredo, who is the weak link. They manipulate Fredo into betraying Michael.
If you’re making money and people know they can’t get to you, they’re going to try to get close to your through your weak links. Do you have friends or family working for you? You need to watch out for them
a) educate them on the game.
b) keep them away from the spotlight.
If you’re making money then considering laying low.
I know when you’re making $1k+ a day your first instinct is to go ham. You wanna upgrade your car, hit up the Louis Vuitton store, and pop bottles at the club (I know because I did)
When you start making money, your main goal should be to make more money. Being flashy just attracts unwanted attention and distractions. Trust me on this, lay low and get your money game up.
I don’t talk to him nor do I know what happened, but I think he should’ve kept quiet about his success and just stay focused. Maybe people started asking around to see what he does, and he brought unnecessary competition on himself.
If he can do it once, then he can do it again. But that kind of attention is not worth it unless you’re looking to sell something.
If people start asking what you do then you might want to consider not revealing what you do exactly. “I’m an affiliate marketer” gets people curious. Telling people your the senior media manager of your company gets them off your back.
Also know who your true friends are. Who the guys that are going to stick around if you’re broke? Who are the ones who like being around you for you?
Final word is don’t let money change you.
Question: Has any of this ever happened to you? How did you deal with it?